Healthy Forgiveness: What Forgiveness Is

Healthy Forgiveness: What Forgiveness Is

Healthy Forgiveness. Forgiveness can be a tough dynamic. In part 1, we covered ‘What Forgiveness is Not.’ Here, let’s explore further and overview what forgiveness is. This can better help us.

Forgiveness is:

  1. A letting go, a release. Forgiveness is a letting go and a release of the occurrence. First and foremost, it’s a responsibility to yourself. Harboring anger, resentment and bitterness, keeps one tied to that person and event. Energetically, you stay attached. And sadly, it can also create more of this energy in your life. It can even manifest in physical ailments. So, it is of great importance to release it. (When we forgive, release or let go of a harmful event, it releases the other person from you. It doesn’t let them off the hook for what happened. They will be on their journey to figuring out how to manage and heal within themselves.)
  • For yourself.  Forgiveness is for yourself. Although, it may seem counter-intuitive, forgiveness of another is for yourself. It is neutralizing the actions from continuing to harm you. It is honoring yourself and allowing peace and renewal. (Sometimes self-forgiveness is needed, but that is another topic).

Forgiveness also is

  • Making Peace. Forgiveness is about making peace within yourself. This is of vast importance. Realize also, that you may never get a heartfelt apology or understanding about the situation from the person. Smug or trite comments are tremendously hurtful and difficult to manage. Forgiveness is not dismissing or devaluing the impact of what happened. It is putting it in its place, moving above and beyond it. Once we can do this, then we can expand and grow past it.
  • Renewal – Forgiveness is a renewal. It’s the energy of the lotus flower. It’s seeing your essence and beauty despite the mud around you. More so, it is the true energy of self-care. Working with lotus flower energy can be very beneficial. Frog medicine can help, too.
  • Not necessary. Forgiveness is not necessarily necessary. If the concept of forgiveness causes you anguish, then don’t do it. It’s ok not to forgive, if it is not healthy for you. Somethings are just too atrocious. Although, you do have to find a way to let go of it, and the negative energies associated with it and have peace. Another thought would be to forgive yourself for not forgiving and move on.


Forgiveness has complex layers. Some situations are easier to forgive than others. Some relationships are easier to mend than others. While some will survive, some won’t, some will be stronger and better. This is all ok. Note of consideration: Forgiveness can also be needed from a situation, circumstance or event.

Healthy forgiveness is about respecting and honoring yourself, what you went through and what is needed for you to heal and be healthy. Bring the energy of the lotus flower in to help.

I work with clients on the review, assessment and understanding of forgiveness. Sometimes, we just need someone to understand, to hear us. Energy work can help assist in clearing, cleansing and cut cords. Bridge-of-Light energy is also fantastic here. If you feel stuck or need assistance in this area, I’d be delighted to help.


L. Leigh Love

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L. Leigh Love is a Certified Intuitive Counselor and Certified Life Coach. She is a Reiki Master Teacher and Advanced Pranic Healer. She completed the Mind-Body Medicine professional training program through The Center for Mind-Body Medicine, University of Minnesota Medical School and worked professionally as a Physician Assistant. As well, she draws on over 20 years of training in Psychology, Spiritual Studies and the Healing Arts. She has a passion for helping clients heal and live their best lives. She holds a non-denominational ordination and is the author of the award-winning children’s book, Roly-Poly and the Light.

She helps clients nationally and internationally through remote session and in-person at her studio in Winston-Salem, NC.

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