I watched Caroline McHugh’s talk recently on ‘The Art of Being You.’ She is a delightful and dynamic speaker who delivers a fantastic message on embracing the uniqueness of being you. I highly recommend it.
I’ll be the first to own that I need to hear supportive messages and be in that space. For those of us who grew up in damaging environments, it’s a constant struggle.
Caroline speaks fast and quickly posed two questions she did not expand on, but which stuck with me. The first was ‘What do you expect out of life?’ And the second was ‘What does life expect out of you?’
These were very contemplative points and can be very insightful and healing, if given some thought. Let’s explore.
The first question is over-viewed here, in Part 1 of this series.
‘What do you expect out of life?’
Wow. Take a moment now and give this some deep thought…some really deep thought.
What is it that you expect out of life?
Give yourself freedom to be completely honest and open with your response.
The answers are going to vary as widely as there are people. The answer to this question is very personal and private. But, I will share some of what my process was and responses were with this exercise.
When I gave it an honest look, my first thought was that I expected life to be fair. I know this because I feel deeply hurt and upset when it is not, i.e. when the bad guy wins or the good guy fails. It just doesn’t seem right. Life should be fair.
Then I looked at this as applied to my life, and I realized that I was taking the inequities of life personally. Such that I was born into a family who didn’t want me and into a very abusive environment, while others grew up with loving and adoring parents. That just doesn’t seem fair.
Then, I thought more about it. And for most of my life, I have carried a chip on my shoulder. It’s not fair that grew up in a neglectful and abusive environment of pot, porn, partying and the exorcist. It’s not fair that I was always left, and left with strangers. It’s not fair that my parents didn’t care how much I was hurt, and still don’t. It’s not fair that sometimes, I’m afraid to fall asleep, and that the demons still come.
It’s taken me a lifetime to understand it all. It’s taken me a lifetime to figure out how to manage it. It is taken me a lifetime to start to learn how to rebuild and to heal.
Honestly answering the question of ‘What do I expect out of life’ helped me realize that the expectation that ‘life should be fair’ is not healthy. In reality, life is what life is, fairness aside. There are some systems in place to help align outcomes with justice, but things shake out how they shake out.
I was carrying around this resentment and bringing it into every relationship. In looking further, I also realized that I needed to not take the ‘unfairness of life’ personally. This was hard, but something I needed to do, or at least try to do.
My goal and focus now, is to try to not get caught up in the resentment of the inequities of life. I do energy work and exercises to release the resentment with the focus of healing and restoring. This is my path and I need to accept and own it, honor it and do my best to heal it.
Another expectation I have out of life is to be heard and to be valued. I expect to be able to have a voice. I realized this even more so, because growing up, like many, I felt that I didn’t matter. My existence was either a burden, a disappointment, instilled anger or I was there for someone else’s gratification. I didn’t matter.
In answering the question of ‘What do I expect out of Life’, I realized, and maybe for the first time, that I expect to matter in life and to be valued. This process brought invaluable clarity and insight. And I realize that I will live the rest of my life managing these feelings, but that there is somewhere out there, a place where I have a voice and have value. I am learning to help myself and others bring these feelings inward and to see and experience them outward, in life.
Which brings me to the final realization, in this article, of what I expect out of life, which is more chances.
I expect life to provide more chances and opportunities. With this comes the opportunity for me to heal, grow and evolve. Life is always moving. So, I fully expect life to provide more opportunities to have something different. I realize, it is up to me now. There is a lot of work here with releasing, clearing and cleansing the past and bringing in, embracing and creating the new.
You can use this exercise to help you, too.
Ask yourself the question: What do you expect out of Life. Allow the answer to come, honest and pure.
Look at the reasons and origins of these expectations, specific to your life.
Evaluate how these are fitting into and shaping your life. See what of value is there for you.
In doing this exercise, there can be a ‘light bulb’ moment which can provide a needed insight or clarity.
This exercise would be great to do privately with journaling. It would also be great partnering with a friend or even in a focused intuitive session and we go through it together. It is very powerful to share and have a supportive presence. My work is about getting to that place of inner peace, knowing and love.
Have fun with this exercise. Be gentle with yourself and blessings to you as you explore healing and health!
Sending light and blessings to you,
L. Leigh Love
More Blog Articles: https://brightstarstudio.net/blog/
Author Website LLeighLove.com – Roly-Poly and The Light, children’s book
L. Leigh Love is a Certified Intuitive Counselor and Certified Life Coach. She is a Mind-Body Medicine practitioner, Reiki Master Teacher, Advanced Pranic Healer and holds a non-denominational ordination. She completed the Mind-Body Medicine professional training program through The Center for Mind-Body Medicine, University of Minnesota Medical School. As well, she draws on 20 years of training in Psychology, Spiritual Studies and the Intuitive and Healing Arts. She has a passion for helping clients heal and live their best lives. She is a nature photographer, artist and author. Other areas of specialty are guided imagery and meditation, land blessings and honoring services.
She helps clients nationally, internationally through remote session and in-person at her studio.
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